i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
