puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
