"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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