I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
