Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize