And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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