Umm I'm too high to move.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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