is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
