in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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