READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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