they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
