We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
