is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize