if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
