doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
