If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
