You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
