It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
