went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Randomize
