He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
