Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
