Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
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