Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Randomize
