I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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