At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
