high people should be assigned attendants
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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