3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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