I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
