Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
