They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize