what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
