Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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