"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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