Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
My friends, they love my intelligence
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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