I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Randomize
