Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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