you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize