The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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