hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
