Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Couch. On fire.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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