he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
