You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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