oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
