you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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