They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
