ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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