there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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