so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
