wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i think my mom watched the whole time
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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