Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
