Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
