I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Randomize
