I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
