So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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