so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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