he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
