She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I could make wine with my vomit
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
