Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
