someone owes me an orgasm
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
