So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
