Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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