i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
