The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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