I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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