guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
